Conversion Therapy

The leather was cracked, the springs were compressed on the left side and someone had used the arm rest to squash out his cigarettes. But there it was: a new-to-Bob captain’s chair for his 1977 Dodge Tradesman with the opera windows and Pegasus mural.

At first it seemed that all was left to do was to tack down the shag, install the wetbar and talk Mabel into going parking with him up at Gauley Tower.

But ever since Bob put in the new/old seat, the van ran hot. And even though he hadn’t used too much WD-40, oil was bubbling up around the floorboards.

Frantic calls were made to a mechanic but Bob realized it was too late when he found the sliding door lolled open one morning, the rejected chair spewed into the condo parking lot. A peaked Pegasus now spewed not rainbows but a green arc of vomit.