Alligator Shoes

I just wanted to help the clerk. He was being scolded by a manager hidden in the back storeroom. So I pulled the curtain aside and a giant reptilian head lolled out. When it snapped at me, I grabbed a Brannock scale and smacked the head, again and again, and again. Finally, its exoskeleton cracked, squirting watery goo everywhere as it collapsed. 

The clerk nervously snatched up a bucket and mop, and began swishing bits of shell and goop out the door. And I ran in fear of the oncoming wrath of these old gods.

I jumped on my moped, and drove as fast as possible towards the Burlington County line. But I could not keep up with highway traffic and instead headed across the fields, until I got here, pulled under a mimosa tree, exhausted and hoping I’ve gotten far enough away. 

Why do reptiles own shoe shores, anyway?